This post for Spirit Science is a continuation of the article about herb spirals that I wrote last week and it talks about easy ways you can save your garden from Mother nature when she starts getting ornery.
The day after I installed my herb spiral we got hit with a snowstorm, I had to scramble to find a way to save my plants from the cold. :)
In this post for Spirit Science, I write about Biophotons; a kind of light particle which may just prove that the new-age hippies were right: We really are light beings. Have a look! :)
Howdy! I mentioned earlier this week that I was going to be writing a post on Herb Spirals. What I didn’t tell you is that it was already written! ;)
I used the herb spiral project I’ve been working on as inspiration to write my first article for Spirit Science, now that it’s published, I can share it with you here. :)
I’m not a very “girly” girl. I can clean up nice when I want to, but I don’t often want to. Its’ a lot of work. :P
Sure, I have inspired moments of femininity where I decide it might be fun to play with some makeup and wear a dress and some cute shoes. Most of the time however, I find nothing feels quite as natural to me as some sneakers, a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
There are others in my family who are much more masterful when it comes to makeup, accessories, outfits and walking in heels, one of those people happens to be a freaking wizard when it comes to illusion.
Sasha is a professional Drag Queen, I’ve seen her and others perform in shows and it never fails to amaze me. The hair, the makeup, the bling, the shoes, the sassy attitude…the fact they can bust a move in six-inch heels…
Being a Drag Queen requires a certain amount of dedication. I have had the privilege of watching the process of going from guy to glam, and it’s quite involved and fascinating.
It has also given me a lot of food for thought when I think about our concepts of femininity and beauty. By seeing my brother transform himself into Sasha Daniels, I’ve learned a lot about the illusions we encounter every day when it comes to appearances.
Dustin goes through a painstaking process to change himself into Sasha before a show. First, he uses a glue-stick to smooth out his eyebrows. Next comes a heavy layer of foundation and makeup used to give his face a more feminine look by contouring the jaw, cheekbones and nose, it’s all blended out later to give it a more natural effect.
Next comes the lip-liner, lipstick, eyeliner and eye shadow, mascara, false eyelashes and more powder to complete the face and Sasha Daniels begins to emerge but the picture is not quite complete…
The illusion is enhanced with false hips, fake boobs, fake nails, layers and layers of pantyhose, jewelry,purses, wigs, hats, hair-pieces, a bold outfit and ridiculously dangerous shoes.
The techniques my brother uses to contour his face and change his appearance are many of the same techniques used on celebrities and models. If I’m not mistaken, he uses the same contouring technique Kim Kardashian uses to give herself that, “Ha ha! Look at my perfect bone structure” appearance.
I’ll admit I find some hilarity in that. Just a little. Ok, a lot of hilarity.
It occurs to me that Dustin is doing this from a space of “It’s fun!” but, many people go through similar efforts for reasons that aren’t so fun like, “I’m not good enough without it.” and so on.
They see models and celebrities who look amazing and feel like they will never be able to attain that kind of appearance, not realizing the amount of work it takes to look like that. Don’t even get me started on what the magazines do with image editors like Photoshop, that’s a whole different level of deception…
Please keep in mind, I’m not trying to diss on makeup. Far from it. It’s a wonderful tool of creative expression and transformation.
I’m just trying to show how drastically it can be used to alter our perceptions. I have found it healthy to be able to witness this kind of transformation first hand and for this, I’m thankful to have a Drag Queen in my life. It gives me some perspective.
I’ve learned a few things from Miss Sasha Daniels:
- Everything you see may be an illusion. That model in the magazine who is making you feel shitty about yourself might just be a dude, so cheer up! Nobody looks like that in real life!
- It’s a lesson in courage and confidence. As I mentioned before, I’m not much of a girly girl. A lot of the time I feel awkward because I’m more of a jeans and t-shirt person. How can I measure up to the standards set forth by the fashion magazine gods or what the hell ever?
Let me tell you something, nothing will give you the courage to glam it up occasionally like seeing your brother rocking it in full face and 6 inch heels and a huge ass wig.
- Since I’ve met “Sasha” I’ve learned how to have fun with the girly stuff and that having fun is the important part. Just remember if you’re going to go through the effort, do it because you enjoy it, not because you feel like you have to do so in order to go out in public.
-Something else I have learned, it’s OK to have curves. If you have ever seen the effort drag queens put into giving themselves curves, you’ll be thankful that you have your own and they don’t require pads, tape, and other torture devices. :P
- Jeans and a T-shirt is still a hell of a lot less work but you can always dress it up a bit if you want to.
- You have to be a ninja level 10 to dance well in 6 inch heels.
- Gardening with fake nails is a bitch. ;)
Speaking of gardening… I’m happy to announce that I finished that herb spiral yesterday, and I’m excited to share the journey with you soon! :)
Relationships… When they’re going well they are the best, most precious moments of existence, filling you with all manner of awesome happy/fuzzy/warm and groovy feelings.
When they are going badly it can feel like your living in your own personal hell and you might feel the urge to bang your head against the wall in frustration until you pass out from the pain. :P
I believe that anyone who says they never have any problems in their relationships (romantic or otherwise) is probably fooling themselves. Anyone who believes a relationship will be or should be perfect 100% of the time is also fooling themselves and possibly creating a lot of extra pain and angst in the process.
I can say this with confidence because I’ve tried to fool myself about these things in the past and suffered needlessly because of it. Why would I make the silly assumption that a relationship will be “perfect”?
I think it happens because when we meet someone at first we are seeing the “ideal” version of that person. The person will be presenting themselves through a filter with the hopes to impress, and you’ll be seeing them through a filter of your own creation that reflects your hopes and dreams for the future your “ideal” version of that person. Everyone’s filters are different and so you can imagine how that can turn out. :P
Not only do we have these filters, there are also pedestals!
We raise the person to god-like status and feel that he/she can do no wrong and allow them to become the center of our universe at times. We live, sleep, eat, drink, breathe, and die for this person, we place them upon a pedestal of impossible heights. With impossible heights come impossible falls.
These habits are dangerous.
When those filters and pedestals inevitably give way to reality we often find that the person of our focus comes crashing down off the pedestal and the landing violently shatters our illusions about them.
If it doesn’t destroy the relationship, it can really strain it further down the road because we are still nursing our old “wounds” caused from the shrapnel of exploding pedestals and flaming filters and…stuff.
The phrase “the bigger they are the harder they fall” comes to mind. The pain and disappointment from our shattered illusions can be difficult to overcome because we make those illusions so vast and consuming. I’ve done this in my own life. In fact, my relationship with my husband is my inspiration for this blog post today.
You might think idealizing and idolizing someone and seeing them only in the most positive light at all times is a good thing. In some ways yes (which I’ll get to in a second) but, more often than not, we aren’t doing it right, or for the right reasons.
We idealize the objects of our attention so much that we forget they are flesh and blood people capable of making mistakes, susceptible to miss-communication, going through the same human experience and all the pitfalls and occasional bullshit that can come along with it.
We place unrealistic expectations on people because we expect them to behave like this ideal version of themselves. It’s funny, because this idealized version of the person we are dealing with is a creation of our own mind. It’s actually a little arrogant. Who am I to tell you what the ideal version of you should be?
These habits aren’t doing them or us any favors, because every little deviation from that ideal picture we paint in our heads only leads to pain, often for both people involved. How can we avoid this pain?
A more healthy way to view relationships (which I’m learning) is to recognize the inherent divinity within the other person without the use of pedestals or filters. See that person for who and what they truly are, not who and what you expect them to be, know there is light inside, and don’t blame them for the darkness that might obscure it.
I think you do this by coming to the understanding that there exists a part of that person who is divine, ideal and pure. However, that person is still living in the fallible 3D world, complete with his or her own learning experiences and evolution. This crazy 3D mix we’re living in can cause a lot of confusion, most people don’t really mean any harm, they can’t always see the variables, the consequences of their actions.
Is it really necessary to meet pain with pain?
I love ideals and idealism, if we want to nurture that divine essence we should focus on the positives in our relationships, make an honest attempt to understand the other perspective and communicate in a way that is clear and understandable. It’s easiest to do that when we’re not passing judgement on each other, when we’re coming from a space of love and acceptance.
Relationships can become closer and more meaningful because you will be able to recognize the other persons humanity, you’ll be able to feel more compassion for the other person’s perspective because you won’t be looking at them through a distorted lens.
Remove the filter and the pedestal and you can start to clearly communicate with each other and grow in the process. You’ll see eye to eye, and your words will be un-muffled.
I have a feeling if more people did this (myself included lol) the world would be a vastly different place…
I just read through this blog post and it reminds me of an awesome PairO’Dime Shift video series I watched a while back. It’s got some awesome life advice and ideas for your consideration and a lot of it has helped me out when dealing with relationships and people and life and all that good stuff.